I sit here, at this desk in the library, my university course books to my left, my day timer to my right, and my current devotional laid flat and open and and upside down in a corner.
But my eyes too, wander up from the screen, to the street view through this second story location from this place I sit at the library.
There’s a pair walking, a mother and daughter possibly, the elder one’s gait hobbles as if one shoe is multiple soles rather than one. Her arm is linked with the other one, tall, slim, in dark pants and a white sweater.
The temperature has cooled over these last two July days, from t-shirts to light jackets, from outside patio to indoor dining. And in these last two days, the weather pressure has also built a pressure in my face, behind my eyes I cannot shake, leaving me tired. And behind.
It’s not a migraine and my heart goes out to those that do suffer from those splitting head, nauseating symptoms when the barometer fluctuates not in their favour. I believe my symptoms are allergies, from what I’m not sure, as the air is full of many components. And I’ve never been tested.
It’s these possible allergies, the pressure, the irritation of being oh-so tired, that has brought me to this library desk at this moment in the hope the change of place will get me from being behind to on schedule again. An essay is undone, due last week.
Yet, inward focus is still foggy at best, and know my work may not be any good in this time. But I’m trying, trying hard to push through, yet…
My eyes lift up to the window, a barrier that holds the air outside from my place.
There’s a pair walking, a mother and daughter possibly. The daughter steadies her mother though the linking of their arms. And I wonder too, about another time when the mother held her arms out to her daughter to come to her. Her daughters steps slow, and unsteady, with a wobbling gait that looked like she walked in a pair of shoes with uneven soles.
A passing of time….
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:… Ecclesiastes 3:1
And a ponder, is there really such a thing as a time of being behind? Or is it only a judgement, a label?
What if we left the word behind, behind?
I wonder if we left the word behind behind, if we’d also leave behind the scurrying to just get done so we’re not feeling behind, sacrificing quality and presence in the present.
And then see His presence in the present and be present in His presence when Jesus shows up.
We see in the story of Mary and Martha, (Luke 10:38-42) Mary was in His presence when Jesus showed up at their home. Martha called out to Jesus in complaint that Mary wasn’t helping in the preparations. I’m guessing she called out, too, as she was feeling behind and wanted to finish up as soon as possible too, so she could enjoy the presence of Jesus.
But Jesus? He wasn’t worried about the preparations, or if Martha would be finished on-time. Present in her home, He just wanted to Martha to be in His presence at that moment, the story teaches.
And teaches too, that we cannot ever spend too much time with Him.
They are gone, the pair, the mother and daughter possibly, maybe into one of the residences in the seniors apartments I see from my place where I sit in the library. And I feel blessed to have witnessed that moment of kindness, of love, of caring, and a leaning in to hold up–all that Jesus is.
There’s still the presence of pressure in my face, my eyes, my head. Yet the pressure of needing to perform to the level to write a university third year essay at this moment has vaporized.
Because Jesus showed up. And I’m on His schedule.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19
2 Peter 3:8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day
How do you stop yourself from doing, from feeling behind, to get on God’s schedule?
Lynn J Simpson, Certified Professional Life Coach at Inspiring Hope in You
Linking up with #TellHisStory
Sometimes we are on his schedule, but don’t realize it.
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So true Sandi!
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Do the next thing. That’s how I keep up. Sometimes something has to give. Thanks and God bless!
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I had to learn to only say yes to the things I feel God has called me to do. Everything else gets a no. Following God’s agenda instead of my own will keep me on track.
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So true, we can never spend too much time with Jesus. I pray the pressure behind your eyes is no more. What a beautiful picture you painted with your words about what you saw through the library window too. Blessings.
PS.. if you are looking for another place to link to on Thursday’s I would love if you would consider joining my linkup #TuneInThursday – it opens Thursday 3am PST and runs through Sunday night. you can find it at debbiekitterman.com/blog (Please feel free to delete the link if you think it inappropriate).
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Thanks Debbie, and for letting me know about your link up! I will definitely check it out!
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I believe it helps to just be. Thanks for this reminder to be present when Jesus shows up. Blessings to you, Lynn.
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Hi Lynn!
Great blog post title, Lynn, Leaving behind behind. Libraries are nice places to sit and think, write and observe.
Yes, the time while studying is filled with pressure and deadlines, right?
You asked how we do stop ourselves from feeling behind.
Sometimes I feel behind, but one trick that has helped me a lot is to find 5 things each evening that I’ve accomplished, small or big during my day.
Blessings!
Edna Davidsen
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I felt like I was right there with you sitting at the desk in the library. I stop myself from feeling behind by identifying what my true priorities are at the stage that I am at and only focus on those.
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I LOVE that you said you’re on Jesus’ schedule. What a great reminder that He doesn’t rush us and He always has time for us!
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I pause and reflect. Is what I am doing something for Him or something for me? I want to show His love first and foremost.
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I embrace the belief that I’m exactly where I need to be right now. If a disappointment occurs, I just trust that God is working together all things for my good and that He sees what I can’t see from my vantage point. The key is to trust fully in Him and not lean on my own understanding.
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I love the line, “we cannot ever spend too much time with Him.” Someone asked me years ago if I thought perhaps I was spending too much time reading My Bible and praying. She wondered if I was procrastinating, failing to do something else. Once in a while I have often thought about that comment.. I THINK NOT! We cannot ever spend too much time with Him. (-:
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I absolutely love this piece, especially the last sentence. Everything is this world except for Jesus is temporary, we need more people like you to remind us that we need a prioritized life over a balanced life.
Jessie
http://www.onelostcoin.com
Your story matters.
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Lynn, beautiful words. God often reminds me of this perspective. As I work out the dreams He’s given me . . . as I mother my boys and engage in other relationships . . . all things happen in His time. I must remember that being in His presence is key. Far more important than accomplishing every to-do on my list.
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I love how you say God reminds you of this perspective, to know all things happen in His time. Our ‘to do’ lists can be so full, yet holding onto to it loosely as ‘His presence is key.’ Such wise words. Thank you!
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Amazing what captures our attention and changes us and our perspective if we are aware and look around. Love the mother/daughter story and imagery and the thought about leaving behind, behind. I so want Jesus to show up and be on His schedule too. 🙂
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May you be peacefully and joyfully on Jesus schedule today Karen! Thank you for reading! It’s always wonderful to see your smile here.
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This is so needed Lynn. We must absolutely pause in our hurry to get through all we have to “get done” and enjoy God’s presence. He is always present. We just have to acknowledge Him and abide in Him as one of my favorite blogging friend talks about so often.
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Acknowledge and abide in Him. I love that! Thanks for those words here today!
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Yes, I get this. And I love that you took the time to observe those two women and dive into your heart and soul for a moment of reflection and inspiration, Lynn! It’s so easy to fall victim to the schedule, the overwhelm, the to-do list, and then on top of everything, feel physically crappy- of which I’m so sorry sweet sister. I get that too.
My favorite message I will remember from your words: “Because Jesus showed up. And I’m on His schedule.”
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Beautiful post. These four words spoke to my heart this morning >>> “Because Jesus showed up.” Once He does, we are never the same. Grateful to have stopped here this morning!
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Oh my goodness. This touched me. Not just because I am working through the second week of a weather-related migraine that taints everything I try to accomplish, but because I ALWAYS feel behind. Whether it is a real schedule or an imaginary schedule, I never feel as though I’m to a place where I can say, “Okay, my work is finished and I can rest.” Thank you for stopping me in my tracks and shifting my perspective. A fresh wind of freedom just blew through my soul.
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Stephanie, I pray migraine relief comes soon for you! And may that ‘fresh wind of freedom’ continue to blow on you today. God bless!
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I breathe slowly, walk more intentionally, be more attentive to the movement of God in my life. Sometimes I just have to stop long enough to soak up His presence. Sounds like you did this, Lynn. I’m helping lead 100 kids at a VBS this week, and one of the things we are teaching the kids is to notice God Sightings. A God Sighting is looking intentionally at nature, the word of God, people, and circumstances in our life; it watches for how God is speaking to us through each. What is He saying? What is He doing? What has He revealed about Himself? Doing this has slowed my pace this week and allowed me to set more reasonable expectations in my day. I loved your post! So real and genuine. Thank you for this! 🙂
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That’s a lot of kids to lead this week Marcie! Teaching how to see God Sightings… I love that! Sometimes I’ll borrow the words of Parker Palmer and say ‘Let your life speak.’ In our circumstances God is also showing up always too, and a wonderful lesson to be teaching youth! May the rest of this week continue to be blessed while you follow His pace for you.
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Great question! How do I stop feeling behind? Honestly it is a matter of not putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish things based on a schedule of my doing? I make it harder on myself than necessary. To everything there is a place and a time. And that is the truth I need to hold onto. Thank you for you words today.
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Hi Mary, Why do we make it harder on ourselves than necessary? I do get that! May your weekend full of a peaceful heart knowing you are in His perfect timing.
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