It starts around February 1st every year. In the subject lines of my emails. A reminder of something I am fully aware of–Valentine’s Day is targeted for the coupled. From ‘ Say, “I Lava You” with this cake recipe” to “25% off selected Valentine’s Gifts for you special someone”, each tag line targets gifts for that special someone. Phrases such as “Nothing says I love you more than a diamond” coined by a popular jewelry store and “Show how much you love her with a…” are heard in radio commercials and television advertising this time of year.
I do like romance. I’ve experienced romance in forms of love letters with tiny hearts pouring from the envelope, recordings of love songs written and sung for me, romantic dinners and gifts, and more. I like reading romance from time to time. And really, no story seems to be without a romantic component.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with romance.
I’ve been divorced for over 20 years now. And sometimes admitting that can feel shameful. I think you may be wondering “what is wrong with her that she is still single?” I know that may not be true. However, according to a quick review of statistics in my country, Canada, only 11 % of the population in my age group of 55-59 are single. When part of a minority, it can feel like there is something wrong you.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your marital status does not determine your worth.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your marital status does not determine your worth.
But being single on Valentine’s Day can cause thoughts of unworthiness, loneliness, and overall discontent. As retailers and restaurants try to get the most ad space for the majority, it can seem, as a single, you are missing out on a necessary element of life.
I understand. I can battle this—being content being single against feelings of missing out on the assumed benefits of being coupled.
A remedy for this discontentment?
For me, I’m not sure the internal battle will ever fully dissipate. A twinge of wanting that special gift at Valentine’s Day, romanced and known by another in a marriage may always show up even though I am quite content with my life. I have goals and aspirations that have nothing to do with having a marriage partner. And I’m blessed to have children (and grandchildren) from my previous marriage.
Maybe the remedy for these twinges of discontentment is to know they are by-products of an advertising world that prefers we are in constant need rather than content.
Maybe the remedy for these twinges of discontentment is to know it is okay to want to feel special and loved by a special someone as long as you know your worth is never determined by your marital status.
For even as a single in a majority coupled world, you are already special and loved.
For even as a single in a majority coupled world, you are special and loved.
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What a beautiful post, Lynne! You have obviously chosen to feel content in your life, no matter what the external situation may be. That is a gift and a blessing. Happiness is a choice we make every day. I don’t think we need another person to “complete” us. We have the ability to be happy and be single. Thanks for sending this positive message out into the world.
Happiness is a choice! Thank you for adding that positive message, Laurie.
Lovely post, Lynn. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day and I write romance. 🙂 I find peace and contentment knowing every day of the year, I am loved by our loving God. Your photos are gorgeous!
Jill, that is so true! God does not choose only to love us on certain days or show that love on certain days. I am glad you write romance! even though not a fan of Valentine’s Day!
xo
Beautiful! Thanks for this.
Thank you Caitlin!
I have singe friends and I know this time of the year is hard for them. May they all realize they are loved by the greatest Lover of their Souls. And may I speak kindly and wise to them when interacting.
“Lover of their Souls.” How true and beautifully said. Thank you for those words here!
It is better to go God’s way, even if it means waiting.
Amen, Sandi!
Lynn, this post is beautiful. Before I married at the age of almost 29, I came to hate Valentine’s Day because of how it made me feel less-than, unattractive, and maybe not deserving of love in someone else’s eyes.
I love what you said here, “Maybe the remedy for these twinges of discontentment is to know it is okay to want to feel special and loved by a special someone as long as you know your worth is never determined by your marital status.”
I so appreciate reading your thoughts.
Jeanne, it’s unfortunate that Valentine’s Day can make some feel like you did once–unattractive and less then. I know you are not alone in that. May we help all know they are special and loved everyday (and remind ourselves of that too)!
This is such beautiful encouragement for those who are single, Lynn. I’m so glad our marital status never determines our worth. I love 1 John 4:16. Yes, let’s rely on the love God has for us! A love that never disappoints or deserts us. Thank you for the encouragement of God’s love and for your photos that refresh my spirit. LOVE and blessings to you, my friend!
Thank you for the LOVE Trudy! And for your words, “Let’s rely on the love God has for us!” Amen!
Lynn, thank you for this post. For someone who has been happily married for a long time, I needed to hear this perspective. And it’s made me more aware of how my single friends may be feeling. But single or not single, it is good to be reminded that our worth does not depend on our marital status. LOVED your photos, as usual. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your beautiful honest heart. I so appreciate that in all of your writing! You are truly a gift as you do share from a place of being loved by the Lord. I pray that you would feel His favor & blessing upon you today.