Choosing a Rhythm to Shake Performance Stress Away
Something seemed off. I’d been practicing “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers on my guitar for months, and even though I had all the chords correct, the song sounded wrong. My rhythm did not produce the train-like country feel of the iconic, hit song. Even when I performed to the song’s track, I defaulted to a strum pattern-beat that I couldn’t seem to shake.
I had my guitar for five years before I began playing consistently for a time. When my granddaughter showed interest beyond playing around with her dad’s guitars, I asked my busy daughter if I could enrol her daughter and I in guitar lessons as a duo. Later I learned my granddaughter and I were the sole guitar duo at the music school, but I think that just made our time together extra special. For two years, my granddaughter and I spent our Wednesday’s evenings crammed in a warm studio space that also held a drum set, keyboards, variety of guitars, and other musical gear. Now my granddaughter has moved on to playing flute in her school band, along with electric guitar, and other artistic pursuits.
And once and awhile, I’ll brush the dust off of my guitar and try again. But I’ll wonder what’s the purpose of playing when I am not consistently practicing? Or feeling like I am starting all over again, as a beginner instead of one who has taken many lessons? Have I just wasted hours and hours of time and money by not consistently playing? Yikes. Maybe I should just sell my guitar….
But when I pick up my guitar, I’m warmed by memories of sitting on those high, uncomfortable stools in that snug studio learning notes and chords alongside my granddaughter. When I watch the high school band performance, I can’t help but feel pleased that I may have had a small role in my granddaughter playing her flute in the front row. And now when I find myself strumming my guitar, I’m learning to let go of getting it right. I’m learning to allow the rhythms of my choices to click to a beat that shakes-off any stress from needing to achieve.
Ironically, trying harder can add too much pressure on ourselves leading to decreased performance. Our self-criticism can lead to anxiety, overwhelm, and never feeling enough.
Do you find yourself avoiding activities that once brought you joy? One practical way to light up your spirit again is to drop the “should’s” and pick up the wonder instead. When we approach our activities with a sense of wonder, we allow in flexibility to our outcomes. We bring in our own experiences, strengths, and creativity. In other words, we play to our own, unique beat.
Maybe one day I will perfect the guitar strum beat of “The Gambler.” Maybe I won’t. Whether I do or not, I can choose to play with enthusiasm. I can consistently be encouraged by the truth that achievements do not define our worth. I can choose to shake away performance stress because our spirits are lifted when we let in the joy for the process itself.
Today will you accept the invitation to shake performance stress away and walk in the rhythm of joy?
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it well. Psalm 139:14
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22
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Personal anecdotes add so much to the words we share in this space. Thank you.
“Our self-criticism can lead to anxiety, overwhelm, and never feeling enough” Oh, so true, Lynn. Thank you so much for this hope-filled message! My performance anxiety is more because I am physically not able to do what my heart desires to do and I so often feel like a failure, but you have reminded me to allow myself to let in the wonder of what I still can do and the blessings God still gives me. Love and blessings to you!
Hello Trudy, Accepting that we can’t do things that we once did can be hard on the mind and heart. I so get that! I pray God leads you wonderings that bring joy to your soul this week. Happy Memorial Day weekend, too!
This >> “When we approach our activities with a sense of wonder, we allow in flexibility to our outcomes.” We relax and enjoy the journey and become less concerned with perfection. So true!
Hi Joanna, Yes, be less concerned about perfection! On the same day I posted this post, I messed up badly on a sewing project. I had to remind myself not to get upset and listen to my own words that whatever we are doing, it is about the experience, not just the end product. 🙂
Sometimes it’s a hard balance, to want to improve our skills yet not strive for perfection. Reaching for perfection just ends in frustration that comes from missing it.
I think we all need hobbies like that, where we know we’re not heading for a profession with it, but we can just relax and play. My middle son does that with the piano. He didn’t like lessons and recitals, but he likes to just play around on the piano at times. I’m just starting to dabble in watercolors and informal lettering, mainly just to be able to put a quick flower on a note card or to make one that says “Happy Birthday” without having to use the computer. Half the charm of informal lettering is that it’s not meant to be perfect and regular. But I have to fight against the urge to make every letter the same height. Hopefully learning to relax and go with the flow will come more naturally in those things as well as life in general.
What a fun activity to do with your granddaughter, Lynn! And good for you to still pull out the guitar even now and play. I tried teaching myself to play years ago, but it’s not a method I recommend. ha. If I ever get the itch again to learn, I’ll take proper lessons. 🙂 For now, I’ve been enjoying playing the piano instead, something I took lessons for years ago and still find joy in.
Drop the shoulds and pick up the wonder. Lynn, yes! What a perfect mantra to head into summer with.
And that you’ve had this priceless connection with your granddaughter is one that neither of you will forget. Such a gift for both of you!
Dear Lynn, I’m just now reading this post; I’ve been so far behind this summer. The day after this post, my brother passed away, and the day after that, my heart entered into aFib. I thought I had learned about pacing my days to the rhythm set by the Lord early on in my chronic illness journey, but this has been a whole new learning curve. I love how you tied in “wonder” as that is half of my word(s) for this year. (#wonder/ponder) The Lord has touched my heart so much through your words here. His timing is perfect! Thank you so much for sharing . Blessings and love to you this summer dear friend
I’m so glad you and your granddaughter were able to play guitar together each week for two years, Lynn. What a beautiful gift of time! And it laid a foundation for her in creativity, intentionality, discipline, music, and beauty. A priceless gift from a loving grandmother.