When the Floors Aren’t Mopped, But You Let Them In Anyway
Various flavoured Bubbly’s in the fridge? (check); chopped strawberries added to the spinach salad? (check); poppy-seed dressing and yogurt fruit dip completed? (check)
Next, smooth the lemon yellow table cloth, and straighten the cutlery. There’s still time to sweep the floor before the gals arrive except…why are the dogs barking? Darn…gosh….they are early! And I haven’t yet changed out of my pyjama pants!
Are you one (too) who dreams your home is show-home perfect when guests are coming? Hours before your company is expected, you chop, slice, and bake. You arrange your time to vacuum and sweep, and then apply your lipstick moments before your company arrives. But, instead, the cake batter ends up on the floor, and you realize you forgot to defrost the chicken, and you can’t make guacamole now because your husband used up all the cilantro (but you are kind-of okay with that because the avocados you bought a week ago are still not ripe), and just as you graciously greet your guests, the cat vomits a hairball at their feet.
When you wanted to show Pinterest-perfect hospitality you end-up with a sticky floor, a ruined dessert, and the lingering smell of antiseptic from the pet stain remover.
Hospitality can feel like a chore. The covers of summer home magazines at the check-out show outdoor party tables with co-ordinated dinner sets on gingham table cloths under garden string lights. And you wonder if you should run back to aisle 10 for that box of decorative outdoor lights even though in your climate zone, the sun sets hours after a reasonable dinner time.
Bring Your Heart, Not Gourmet (But Store-Bought Cookies are a Bonus)
Hospitality isn’t about fancy decor—it’s about open doors.
Biblical hospitality doesn’t require a perfect table setting. Perfection pressure is performance pressure—turning the focus on ourselves and how we appear to others, rather than on our guests.
Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35 says:
“So, now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (NLT)
When we turn from performance hospitality to heart hospitality, we not only take the pressure off ourselves, but we create a safe space where guests can be themselves.
God’s not asking for perfection, but for a willing heart.
Apostle Paul’s words in Hebrews 13:2 says:
“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.“
In Genesis 18 we read how Abraham “hurried from the entrance of his tent” (18:2 NIV) where three men stood-by who he did not know. He willingly provided them water, rest, and food. As the story unfolds, we learn that these strangers were angels of the Lord, speaking words of a future miracle — a birth of a son even though Sarah, his wife, was past her child bearing years.
“Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” (10)
Forget the Fancy—Just Pull Up a Chair
What really matters is people at the table, not how it’s set.
When we let-go of our perfection desires, we are more willing to open our places no matter their state. Just a room and a few chairs is all that is is necessary to create the “perfect” space for heart-felt conversations, and companionship. Opening our door even when we feel we are not “guest-ready” opens us up to blessings — maybe an angel’s message! — we may miss otherwise.
(And to add an additional sweet bonus? Just pass around a bag of Dad’s Oatmeal Cookies! Trust me. The most meaningful conversations can happen consuming store-bought cookies and cans of iced tea.)
When I opened my door still wearing my pyjama bottoms, my girlfriends happily came in, and then explored my kitchen cupboards searching for the coffee, while I changed into my hiking pants. We walked and talked, laughed and listened, shopped and ate — a full-day of imperfectly perfect girlfriend time.
Who can you open your doors to today? Is perfection holding you back from the joy of companionship in your home? What is one step you can take today toward perfectly imperfect hospitality? Got a funny “mishap” story from a time you hosted guests in your home? Share in the comments!
Love this message! I’m much more relaxed when I don’t worry if everything is perfectly clean in our home. Yes, my husband and I make sure everything is clean, but we find comfort in knowing everything doesn’t have to be perfect. Our guests are more relaxed when we are relaxed. 🙂 I’m thankful God loves us in every moment. Have a blessed day!
Oh, so true Melissa! Our guests are much more relaxed when we are relaxed. I’m guilty of fretting over the uncooked carrots and the mismatched tea cups. And that surely could add anxiety into the room instead of peace! Yes, God does love us every moment. Have a blessed long weekend!
I love this, Lynn. I’m so glad you had “imperfectly perfect girlfriend time.” Love and hugs and blessings of more spreading Jesus’ love. 💕
Thank you, Trudy. I hope you are doing well, and seeing all the abundant life that spring is bringing to your part of the world!
“When we turn from performance hospitality to heart hospitality…God’s not asking for perfection, but for a willing heart.” Your statement summarizes the proper perspective of hospitality, Lynn. It’s pure and true.
Hi Lisa! Thank you for your words, here. Yes, a “proper perspective of hospitality” brings many blessings to our kitchen table. 🙂 Have a wonderful day!
I love this! Your post reminds me about the story in the Bible when Martha gets upset about Mary listening to Jesus instead of helping her with all the “things.” In response, Jesus says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42). Don’t get me wrong, I also like to have my home looking good when guests are coming, but at the same time, I can tell you it’s not going to be perfect. My floors will not be freshly mopped each time, and for sure the furniture won’t be freshly dusted every time! However, it will be clean enough, and what’s more important is the time spent with my guests! That is what I treasure the most!
Hi Sally! Yes, it’s our time with guests that is greatest treasure of all, not the clean floors (that are going to get messy again anyways)! Thank you for sharing the story of Martha and Mary here. It is one I know I need to turn to over and over again to remember to rest, not fret over how things appear.
Yes, hospitality is not about gourmet or fancy, but bringing your heart and pulling up a chair at the table. And open doors are a must. Who knows what weary soul may be seeking a willing witness about the hope we have in Christ. Thank you, Lynn. God bless!
Just bring your heart and pull up a chair at the (our) table…that is a beautiful way to approach hospitality, Karen!
I used to practically spring-clean every time we had someone over–and then I’d have very little energy left when they came. It took a long time to learn that hospitality is a matter of welcome and an open heart, not having everything perfect. I still like to have things basically neat and picked up, but I don’t overdo it. I’ve learned a few simple tried-and-true recipes work better than my trying to cook something new and fancy.
Funny story–years ago we were hosting the youth group one Sunday evening after church. While they were singing, I saw I had left the can of dust spray on top of the bookcase. That would not have been too bad, but my dust cloth draped over it was an old pair of my husband’s underwear. But I couldn’t go over and remove it, or else that would draw attention to it. I just hoped no one noticed. 🙂
That is funny, Barbara! And it makes a great story! Most times our guests just want to know their welcome in our space, and they don’t even bother to look around for underwear on our shelves. lol!
You’re so right, Lynn. We needn’t let perfectionism keep us from being hospitable, even though we often do. My husband has been a great counterpart to my perfectionistic tendencies with entertaining. He usually encourages me to stop doing so much cleaning. ha. And he’s right; most people don’t care if we have dusty baseboards; they just want to be with us, giving and receiving love together.